IELTS Essay 9 - Band 6

Topic: Reasons to attend college


People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, increased knowledge).
Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many people attend to university or collage after their high school years for several reason which they choose by them self. I believe the most reason that why people attend to university or collage to have new experiences on life , to prepare for career, and to increase their knowledge of their personality on life.

Firstly, many people tippy title=”attend to university or collage”]again, repetition[/tippy] to have new experience on life. Many students leave their home and move to live by them self when they go to university. This is the first time that they had to create resolution by them self without their parents help. Creating resolution will increase their knowledge of themselves. Moreover, students on the university can meet different students from different nationalities and religions so students can learn about different culture around the world.

Secondly, many people go to university or collage to prepare for career. Career training is becoming more important nowadays to young people than old people. At collage, students learn many skills about the real career life and they intern to internship with a lot of chances. All of these things prepare them for the career life.

Also, students attend to university or collage to increase their self-knowledge of their personality on life. They attend for that to increase their knowledge in subject which they find interesting. For example, many students study science because they are iinterest in science but they work on the business area.

To sum up, I think people should not only focus on a career when they go to university or collage. They have to follow to have new experience and knowledge about their personality and the huge world around them which they live in.

This essay needs much work. There are many grammatical errors, incorrectly used prepositions and inaccurate expressions. There are many repetitions of the same expressions try to avoid that as much as possible. The task is covered, the paragraphs are connected by linking words but the usage is rather primitive. Overall, looks like a Band 6 essay.