IELTS Essay 8 - Band 6

Topic: Education critical factor

“Some people say that education system is the only critical factor to development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?”

Education plays a vital role in the development of a country. Therefore, some people think education system is the only important factor for the development of a country and they may be right.

Education is a foundation of well developed and cultured society. It is rightly said, ‘education is a ladder for success’. If all the people of any country are educated then they becomes broadminded, civilized and progressive forward. Educated society improves standard of life as well.

Besides this, education also creates a good employment opportunity and therefore country do not have to suffer big problem like unemployment. Educated peoples are more aware of problems such as pollution and many more. Country becomes technologically advanced because of educated people.

Not only this, but by giving full importance to education, the nations can get rid of problems like iliteracy, poverty, unemployment and poppulation growth that retard the progress of nation. The crime rate can also be kept under check. The standard of living of the people wil go up. If the nations wants to be progressive it is very important that the people are more educated and progressive forward. Any country can be more technologically advanced and developed because of education.

However, there are some more factors also plays important role in development of country. Such as governments has to encouraged people to do so._

In conclusion, I would like to say that good education system lead to a developed country.

This essay needs some work. It has a good structure and the sentences show enough fluency, but the last body paragraph needs to be corrected by adding another 2-3 sentences to it. Also there are some repetitions and grammatical errors. Overall, looks like a Band 6 essay.